Bling

This holiday season, I am thinking about social media-able travel moments, mass tourism, and how and why we consume.

Yesterday, I insisted we go buy a tree. My youngest daughter suggested a tree seller she had noticed on a nearby square. This required a short tram ride from our place, past one of Vienna’s busiest museums and Christmas markets. I envisioned a quick round trip: three stops there, pick a tree quickly, ask the guys to wrap it up, three stops back. I had completely forgotten what Vienna is like in December, and what this economic divide is doing to the shopping experience. The tram was bursting with tourists from around the world, all pushing and shoving to get on and off, all eager to replicate videos and photos they have already seen on Instagram and TikTok. I overheard one say (and mind you, this was only 2pm) that the museum was already sold out of tickets for the rest of the day. I cannot comprehend what makes one want to stand outside on a cold, grey day and sip overpriced sweetened hot wine out of a tiny red Santa mug you pay an actual deposit for. If anyone would ask me when to come to Vienna, I would honestly say October over December. Come when you can actually enjoy it. Come when you can breathe on public transport. Come when you can actually get a table in a restaurant. But no one asked me. So everyone is here now, and it is…maddening for us locals. Or maybe I am just old and grumpy.

Anyway, we managed to ride three stops and get off right next to the tree seller. He had an interesting selection which basically reflects the state of the world economy at the moment. There were gorgeous, enormous, perfectly shaped giant trees who were clearly awaiting homes in five-star hotel lobbies and foreign embassies, or in grand pre-war apartments with mega high ceilings. Across from these beauties, was a selection which my daughter described as Brussel sprouts. I would have said broccoli, but you get the idea. The staff, two men, ignored us two women. It became clear to me they operate under the traditional viewpoint that a customer worth greeting in a cash-only business must, by default, be male. This made my blood boil, and we left. But before we left, I noticed there were no middle class trees. I was in search of something roughly my height, ideally not having to fork out more than €50. Yet it was the Four Seasons or a vegetable on a coffee table. I took a deep breath.

“Let’s ride the tram back and go to the other side of our neighbourhood.”

At the tram stop, we quickly realised we would have to walk the whole way home. Each approaching tram, connecting from Christmas market to Christmas market, on account of its route, was filled with human beings like sardines, wrapped in their winter woolies, all trying to experience whatever it is their iPhones told them there was to experience here at this time of year. I shook my head in shock and disappointment, the herd mentality of it all, and explained to my daughter we would have to walk home. You can imagine the complaining.

On the other side of our neighbourhood, we managed to find another tree seller, this one working on his own, friendly helping customers in all languages (he switched to English as soon as he heard us), as well as “middle class” trees, and for €49 including a wooden stand perfectly nailed into the tree (which he also straightened for us), we were left to carry our purchase home a few city blocks. My traditionalist self was swearing the absence of a neighbor with muscles on the very weekend when I needed to put those muscles to work, but to be honest, we managed just fine. We set up the tree, cut off the wrapping mesh, and threw a bunch of crap made in China on top. When my daughters said we needed more bling, I purchased a bit more bling for less than the cost of two coffees in a downtown Vienna cafe this time of year. A little joy doesn’t have to break the bank, but I was reminded that nothing is as straightforward as it used to be. There were young families buying next to us, prepared with kids strollers and wagons to drag their trees home. They surprised me by buying even smaller than us. One husband looked to his wife to give him additional cash. The whole scene was eye-opening.

We have reports about how unemployment is on the rise, how money is tight for so many people, and we know this to be true, but the flip side of this income inequality is there are also so many people who don’t know how to spend their money fast enough. Most of the people visiting Vienna don’t look mega-wealthy, but they clearly have some cash to burn, as even eating out for a day here will set you back a lot, even if you try to eat at “casual” places. In season, and that season is inching closer to twelve months of the year, you don’t find an affordable coffee and apple strudel. I wouldn’t know where to tell you to go. I received a text a few days ago from a college friend who I haven’t seen since we graduated, who will be coming with his family for an entire week to Vienna. In December. I really don’t know what you do here for a week in the cold. It is kind of amazing to think someone would fly halfway around the world for the experiences we have on our doorsteps. And yet…they do.

The other day I needed to get a watch battery replaced on a watch so old I forgot I owned it. I walked in the shop and was told there was a waiting list to be helped, and it was a dozen people deep. I explained I didn’t want to buy a Birkin which no one would sell to me anyway because you have to be on their secret list to have the pleasure of spending five figures on a handbag, just to replace my watch battery, and they kindly explained I should go to the jewellery store next door. I did just that, and my watch was fixed an hour later, but before I left, I could not help but notice the passive agressive facial expressions of the uber-wealthy who were ready to wait hours to be able to have the privilege of spending money in such a way that it would be like an entry ticket to some sort of secret club, the owners of orange boxes. I used to buy plenty of those orange boxes decades ago, when I was single and earning a good income, but I have no memory of stepping inside the shop and buying something feeling like trying to get into a club with “face control” as we used to say in Moscow. This was something new, and frankly, frightening.

Those with money cannot spend it fast enough, and are falling over themselves to access whatever their phones have told them they must have, whatever the markers of success are now in this moment. Everyone else, I imagine, is really struggling to think about how to make the holidays nice for the kids without breaking the bank, and the struggle is real. I mean, it is crazy both how much some things cost, and the fact that they are already sold out. If anyone as an entrepreneur can tap into these niches, you would be golden, but I couldn’t tell you how to make something TikTok viral. That remains another one of the mysteries of the universe. My eldest came back from a school trip to Sweden, raving about a winter jacket which costs way more than our normal clothing budget for teenagers, given that she has a birthday coming up…only to open the website and discover it is already sold out, worldwide. I suggested wiping her crocodile tears and choosing something else, suggesting actual brands known for keeping people warm in cold temperatures, and was greeted with a “you don’t understand mama I need that jacket and only that one”. You are right darling, I do not understand. I am showing my age.

My motto this holiday season is 50% is ok too. In the past, I would do 100% and end up mega angry, angry about all the unpaid female labor that goes into family celebrations and days spent with “loved ones” the umbrella term we use for gatherings both enjoyed and forced. I baked Christmas cookies as teacher gifts (you cannot do more in Austria than something homemade) but I only baked 3 kinds. Minimalism. Sort of. It felt good and didn’t stress me out. I wasn’t angry at the end of it. Some of the gifts might arrive after Dec 24. This happens when you don’t order in time. Also not the end of the world. I was horrified when I saw the state of our recycling bins in our garbage area in our building today. The amount of cardboard in just the month of December…it is incomprehensible. Surely we as humankind could have come up with something better for mid-winter than mass consumption and forced family bonding, but, alas…

The lack of sun is hard. This year I feel seasonal depression more than most years. We haven’t had any real snow, just lots of damp, windy grey, and it wears on you.

I have been witness over the past few months to many families each going through their own personal struggle. When I translate for Ukrainians at their hospital or school visits, I get a window into a private sphere for a few hours. It is both incredibly amazing the healthcare opportunities they have been able to access here thanks to Austria’s decision to offer all Ukrainians the same healthcare coverage allocated to locals (imagine that, America…it’s incomprehensible even for locals, I know), but it is also hard to see how problems follow people even in immigration. Immigration just adds another layer of complications on top: not understanding the language or the customs, distrust of something that feels unfamiliar. I have also heard inspirational stories. I met a hearing impaired family recently (the grandmother can read lips and this is how we communicate, she has partial hearing), and against all odds they now have a new baby, who is, as a result of genetics, also hearing impaired. The family are scared to access available treatments because of stories of medical treatments gone wrong back in Ukraine. The granny, to her credit (and she is younger than me so it feels very strange to call her granny!) just got a job at BILLA through a program which hires hearing impaired staff to pack online groceries for delivery in their warehouse. This is the kind of stuff that makes me so happy. I just wish there were programs like this for everyone. Many women without any disabilities still struggle to find work. But I try and grab onto the good, because if you focus on the bad, you will soon lose faith in the entire human experiment. At least in winter, when it is dark and cold. In summer, in the sun and warmth, everything feels lighter and easier.

If you are looking for an interesting listen, I would recommend this interview with Rick Steves. Last summer, on a very hot tram ride, I met an American tourist in her 70s who told me her life story in the first thirty seconds while asking me directions. She was here on a “Rick Steves” tour of Europe. She name dropped that she lived near Oprah. She was travelling with a partner who was exhausted and taking a nap in the hotel room. This woman had the energy of a 40 year-old, and had a list of boxes she wanted to check despite the heat. Rick was definitely onto something:

I really appreciate how the journalist calls out the fact that for many people, going abroad does not automatically make them more open-minded upon their return. You hear on TV programs how wealthy Americans now name-drop places they have visited not out of a passion for travel, but in the same way one places a black Amex on a restaurant table while waiting for the bill in clear view of those around you. Travel is also no longer affordable in the way it was once for young people who could pick up and backpack their way across (fill in the blank). Chasing the shot for your social media post, you may miss out on the most interesting parts of visiting a new place. When I said this at the lunch table, my kids immediately scolded me for being the kind of person who wants to get the perfect shot. There was some truth to what they said. The best things in life generally happen to us when our heads are lifted up and away from our phones (said as an addict).

It’s 4:30pm and already pitch black. Soon, it will get better. We are almost at that point from which each day will grow longer, thankfully. We have made it this far. I wish you all the patience to get through the next few weeks. If you, like me, dread the holidays, you are not alone. Remember, 50% is fine too. No one is keeping score. And if someone is, ask yourself if their opinion really matters to you. Deep breaths. We don’t pick our relatives but we can pick who we choose to surround ourselves with. This is applicable on holidays, too. And if being alone on a day when others force themselves to gather together is what gives you inner peace, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s 2024, and we can write our own rules. Start you own new traditions if you don’t like the old ones. Take a cue from the younger generation. They have no fear of judgment, and I think that is a beautiful thing.

p.s. if you do decide to visit Vienna, it can be a beautiful city to experience, but come off-season: fall or spring, gorgeous. Winter or summer: you will be fighting crowds and either very cold or very hot. Ask a local for tips on where to eat, what to see. We have amazing museums, great food, and a surprising amount of nature to experience for a big city. And if you ride a crowded tram and the doors open and it is not yet your stop, you should step off or out of the way to let others off before you step back in. And use your indoor voice. Whatever language you speak — believe me, someone on that tram understands it.