Everything gone mad
Each piece of news out of Russia is worse than the previous headline. Life in Vienna isn't getting any easier for some Ukrainian refugees.
Today I thought I was going crazy. My body was physically located in Austria, but I was surrounded by Russian. My phone was buzzing non-stop, as it usually does, with 75% of the messages in Russian, then other 20% in Ukrainian (Google translate to the rescue), and perhaps 5% English or German. So my head space when staring at my phone is definitely Russian speaking. Then I go for a manicure, and the entire salon is speaking Russian, but they are all Ukrainians speaking Russian, and one of the young women has just come back from a trip to get her lips done (as one does), and I have to pinch myself because it feels like I have left Vienna and gone somewhere else entirely. Until another client comes in with her toddler, and I realise, oh yes, we are in Vienna, because in Moscow this would never happen. She would be told to leave her kid with a nanny and come without the kid. But I digress. It did strike me as odd you have money for a pedicure but cannot hire a babysitter for a few hours. There are so many Russian speakers desperate for work right now! But I digress.
Big picture first. Big picture the news out of Russia is crash course escalation make everything worse make this war drag on many thousands more men die for nothing. And of course the elephant in the room will he or won’t he use a tactical nuke. As some argue, until now, he has always done everything he said he would do.
The Kremlin is blaming and shaming the hundreds of thousands (reportedly) of Russian men who have already fled Russia. The lines at the Georgia and Kazakhstan borders stretch for days. Some locals are selling better spaces in line for $500. There are TikToks from Kazahsktan with the song “it’s raining men” playing filming all the young Russians wandering the local mall in the nation’s capital. There are TikToks of miles of young Russian men lined up to cross through Georgia’s mountainous, scenic border on foot, provided the Russian draft board doesn’t get to them first. Meanwhile, there is a TikTok of Lukashenko telling Putin, don’t worry old pal, no matter how many run away, we will find more men. You could mobilise 20 million. I paraphrase but you get the idea. Total madness.
Finland closes its border to Russian tourists. I think of an former work colleague in Moscow who owns a dacha in rural Finland. She has a husband and two sons, one of whom is draft age. There goes their entire investment, I thought to myself. Where will they go? What will they do? I think of an friend who has been married for decades in Russia. They fostered two boys who grew up in an orphanage. Those boys are now of age. What will happen to them? What will she and her husband do? I see young men on my Instagram feed, who used to be based in Moscow, and now post photos of Tbilisi in fall. They are the lucky ones. They had money and means to get out. The rich ones, who think they bribed the right person for now, do they really believe that? Do they really believe they are safe? If Putin’s Russia has proven anything to be true, it is that no one is ever truly safe. Remind you of someone else from history?
What about everyone else? What about the thousands of poor men of all ages and ethnicities being mobilised across Russia right now, sleeping in converted school gyms (best case), ill-equipped, being asked to ask their families to supply them with first aid materials. What about those who already landed in Ukraine and already died. I cannot even look at the images coming out of Russia without thinking 50% of them won’t ever come home.
If you read one thing this week — read “Putin Always Choses Escalation” by Farida Rustamova and Maxim Tovkaylo. I won’t paraphrase, but do take the time to read it all. It is 100% better than any armchair analysis some overeducated millennial might post from his overpriced sofa in DC. And yes, it is that bad. It is that depressing. It is that scary. Call me crazy, but I know deep down Russia must lose this war. I am just very worried they are going to make the losing of the war drag out forever, even with a little old man in charge.
I keep saying to myself the past few days: this cannot go on forever. That is my huge fear. That this is only the beginning of years of pain if Russia drags the battle out by sending raw meat (men) to the front. It is all downright evil. And yet, who will stop it? I don’t have an answer to that question. The U.S. is sending Ukraine more weapons, which is good, but it doesn’t answer the question about who is going to finally take out Putin. Because this only ends when he is gone.
Tomorrow, Putin will emerge from his “vacation” and make a speech announcing the biggest land-grab since World War II ended. And the western world will do what exactly? Watch and express its strong concern?
Then you read stories like this — the literal theft of Ukrainian children into Russia, and ask, what more can happen and we will all just collectively shrug because Russia has nukes? Gas pipelines exploding in Europe’s seas, just because. Russia can make us all cold this winter, just because. It’s like the entire classroom is held hostage by the bully, the teacher can’t teach anymore, no one can get anything done, he is running around stabbing other kids with pencils, and yet no one knows what to do about Vlad, as the American newscasters like to say. Except for his buddy Lukashenko, who is rumoured to be rounding up some troops of his own. Solidarity and what not.
So when I stop worrying about all of this, and focus on the local problems in front me, they too don’t leave a whole lot of room for optimism. Happy news is when I am able to connect Ukrainians in need with local Austrians who can help them, with in kind donations and advice, and this works brilliantly. It would be great if more locals would come forward, but so far the connections which have been made all functioned wonderfully without me needing to be a translator and I receive happy messages from both receiver and donor. Ditto for when someone gets a job and it is almost always because of a personal recommendation. I would be happy to share more job opportunities with my Telegram group of Ukrainians in Austria, but I have to know about them. Same for clothing/shoes/kitchen stuff/furniture/devices donations. It only takes a second to post and usually the connection is made in a matter of hours.
This week the poorest Ukrainians, those in the “Grundversorgung” system of social payments in Austria, are very, very upset because public transport is going to cost them money as of October 1, will no longer be free. This applies both to ÖBB trains and Wiener Linien. This is a drama when you are trying to survive on €260 per month of state support (while being prevented from working), best case scenario. I am especially worried about those in rural areas who truly depend on the trains for any kind of mobility as they are living in places where it is nearly impossible without a car and they have no cars, for the most part.
Yesterday was a good day. Thank you. It felt like I really made a meaningful dent in my waiting list of empty envelopes. But then today I received another couple dozen messages. And so it goes. Step by step.
I am still trying to draw attention to this terrible situation, although at times it feels fruitless. These residents never received a single Euro from the Austrian government. They will be physically unable to pay any subway or bus fare.
I wrote those three tweets about Margarita, Graf, and their neighbors this morning. Would anyone like to guess how many journalists answered me since? Or the city of Vienna? You know the answer by now, don’t you? Welcome to official Austria where we just ignore problems until they miraculously go away on their own, or until they explode. Pick your poison.
I basically lost it yesterday morning and recorded a long voice message for my group of Ukrainians in which I basically said: do not hope or wait for any improvements here from the side of the state or official organizations. Learn to help yourselves if you plan to survive this winter here, financially. Albeit, totally useless advice for the elderly and sick and those who cannot work, of which there are many, many Ukrainians in Austria at the moment, perhaps in part because neighbouring countries did away with subsidies entirely (but have truly open labor markets), and in part due to Austria’s reputation for decent medical care for refugees.
So all in all, it’s really a strange existence between worrying about the big picture very real looming threats from the madman in the Kremlin, and the very real actual problems which jump into my phone all day long. I really try to answer only what I know, and to say “I don’t now” to a lot. I cannot become a jack of all trades. I want to keep delivering the grocery cards to those in need. I believe we can keep doing it as long as we are able to keep raising funding (we also happily accept and distribute Klimabonus €50 vouchers and Edenred tickets). I try to answer general questions which affect many to the best of my ability. I try to draw attention to particularly bad situations, such as the dorm in Vienna where no one is allowed to register.
In a few weeks, there will be the Die Presse Austrian of the year 2022 awards ceremony, and we have a chance of winning €10,000 for Cards for Ukraine. If you haven’t voted already, it only takes a second, and it would really help us as the top 3 of 5 nominees in the Humanitarian Engagement category will win these cash prizes. You can vote here.
Thank you! And to contribute towards our immediate pile of empty envelopes, you can donate here or send me cards. Please get in touch for my address. Thank you!
I’ll just keep taking it one day at a time, for as long as it’s possible. Any kind of long-term planning at the moment feels very surreal. A sign of the times, surely.
Thank you so much for reading and for your continued support.