I cannot believe it is December 19 already. My eldest is called Nikolai, this was a big holiday in Serbia on my dad’s side of the family, and I understand for Ukrainians, today is a bit like December 6 for Austrians. Which is interesting, because I don’t remember this day having any special meaning when I lived in Russia. In any case — Secret Santa deliveries are in full swing. I am receiving so many lovely photos of chocolates and small gifts and fruit and toys being delivered to Ukrainian kids living in group homes all over Austria. It just blows my mind that you can put together a spreadsheet of contacts (thank you Google) and strangers come together to make literal magic happen. They send me the photos but then I am like, but you all did all the work! I just provided the information. And thanks to our elf-in-chief who ordered so much chocolate and pretty Christmas packaging that the other elves could use their budgets to add in other small gifts. Even simple things like shampoo and shower gel are appreciated. And the time everyone took to wrap everything up so nicely. It is so touching to see. I wish we all did more of this kind of gift-giving during the holidays, rather than thinking about what to give the people in our lives who already have everything they need.
And the kid photos. I don’t share them as I have been warned not to do so publicly, but they are big and small, in pyjamas and winter coats, smiling, holding their gifts. Most of them never expected to receive anything so it came as a complete surprise. These little moments are also a reminder despite however many hardships a family has been through in Austria — it’s not all frustrating. Some kind people really do care.
I am still delivering Hofer cards. Thanks to your generosity, I will be able to buy another 11 today, and am meeting a dorm resident in the late morning to personally hand her a card.
Another mom from that dorm — generally one I consider to be good, because the residents can cook using communal kitchens — shared an upsetting story in the Telegram group yesterday. She spent €5 to buy the fancy tvorog (topfen), as she wanted to make syrniki for her kids (Ukrainian mini sweet cheese pancakes) and dad who is currently in hospital. She left the package on the counter. When she came back five minutes later, one of her neighbours had stolen it. She was so upset — €5 gone, the shops are closed on Sunday, she had done a PCR test to be able to visit her dad that day in hospital, her kids were hungry.
The other Ukrainians in the Telegram group tried to calm her down, explaining there is always a boomerang effect for such people, she should rise above it, not let it ruin her day. But it made me so ANGRY to read it. I also have noticed a growing aggression as the months go on — tempers are shorter, frustration mounts more easily. We have had to block some participants from commenting in the Telegram group because they take a strange pleasure in attacking strangers for no reason online. I attribute it all to months and months of intense stress with no relief in sight. And now worry over loved ones in Ukraine with a cold winter underway.
I am worried about a grandmother and granddaughter who wrote me out of desperation last Friday. I have been in email contact over the weekend with the head of the BBU who I hope will be able to influence today during business hours whoever decides here in Vienna on housing assignments, but it is so frustrating that individual cases have to be elevated to the highest levels in order for there to potentially be a positive solution. That shows that a system is not built properly. And it all goes back to the de-centralized, federal system with nine different states offering nine different “solutions” and a half dozen NGOs all playing a part but no single one actually being in charge. In crisis especially, you need one guy whose word is final. And the soldiers to get in line and take orders. It doesn’t feel, at least from the outside, like it works like that. Which means it isn’t seen as a crisis. Meanwhile, desperate people ask me what is the cheapest way to get back to Ukraine. That is a sign of our collective failure here in Europe which is still, for now, at peace.
The twelve days of Christmas (which actually turned out to be thirteen!) series was a success in the sense that it, I think, shared a very diverse picture of Ukrainians seeking shelter in Austria, and at the same time resulted in some direct aid. I had the pleasure of delivering one such envelope this Friday, stopping in a village halfway between Vienna and Graz, delivering some financial help from a Viennese family (who have adopted a lovely cat from Dnipro!) to a Ukrainian family, from Mykolaiv, now in Burgenland. Parcels of cat food and litter have been sent and received with much gratitude. Other moms have read stories of Ukrainian moms trying to manage on their own, and have paid those families visits, offering help with everything from clothes for the kids to transportation tickets. It is really heartwarming to know these stories not only helped spread awareness, but also led to direct aid, family to family.
Yesterday, a tireless volunteer who already helped so many families apply for child benefit (she is a tax advisor in her day job), did another session of Austrian cookie decorating with Ukrainian kids, kindly hosted by Train of Hope. She baked 460 cookies from scratch over two weekends! The photos are incredible. The moms were grateful to have a fun, free activity to take their kids too, and I think the joy was mutual.
I would also like to recommend the following, again, in no particular order.
The sweeping New York Times investigation into how Putin managed to stumble into a suicidal war for Russia and why he will keep going despite defying all logic. I must admit, none of this surprises me. Putin’s history book obsession was growing over the past several years, yet he didn’t heed any of the lessons from Stalin’s mistakes. He was so out of touch with the reality of modern Ukraine he actually believed Kyiv could be taken in a matter of days and some people might welcome Russian troops. He mistook Russian speaker for pro-Russia, a mistake no one who has ever spent ten minutes speaking with a Ukrainian would ever make. Stalin too sent men into war without guns or training. He too didn’t care how many Russian (Soviet) soldiers died. He murdered millions of his own citizens. Why would we expect Putin to be any more humane? He surrounded himself by yes men — very telling in this is the preference for one-on-one meetings rather than group discussions. The old maps, just the complete and total shit-show, check it out in this paywall-free version here:
This video from Bakhmut following the work of British volunteer Dave Young is something else. Also pay-wall free. Anthony Loyd was a war reporter in Bosnia. He wrote books about his experiences in the 1990s. It does not surprise me at all that he of all people returned to what is arguably the most dangerous place in Ukraine right now. Just heartbreaking stuff. Worth your twenty minutes:
Finally, this feature in translation from deep, rural Siberia needs a trigger warning on the quotes, but it is important to understand Russia today. The raw ignorance and isolation remind me of parts of rural America, and the hatred of Ukraine they express seems to be more a reflection of their own terrible circumstances than anything else. Anyone who has seen these parts of Russia (I have — albeit out a train window), understands across wide swaths of the poorest parts of Russia people still use outhouses in minus 30C. Ukrainians live like kings in comparison.
This is also an interesting piece from the FT on Russia’s war economy. I would just like to remind everyone that each of these “advisors” to Putin is complicit in aiding genocide. Each of them could have gotten up, left the country, said I am not going to support this unjust war. None of them did. Perhaps time we stop calling them “technocrats”. They are very much part of Putin’s army, too. They may mumble quietly in private, but they did not leave with their feet. Morally, they are very much on the wrong side of history. They are working for official Russia, and official Russia is murdering Ukrainian civilians in their homes.
Finally, this Economist piece, A looming Russian offensive, suggests Russia might try to have another go at Kyiv, and is recruiting another 200,000 troops. The NYT piece above quotes a NATO official as saying Putin is willing to sacrifice 300,000 men — he has already lost by some estimates 100,000. The figures are just staggering. I cannot even begin to comprehend. This is all very worrying in the context of Putin’s upcoming visit to Belarus this week, his first in years.
Because even though we all know Ukraine will ultimately win this war, the question is, how long will it drag on for and at what cost, both in terms of human lives, time, money, weapons, everything? And that, I fear, is the question no one has an answer too. I don’t think anyone really knows. I don’t get the feeling politicians here in Europe understand what years of war in our backyard actually means. They don’t even really take seriously the humanitarian crisis we have here, now.
I’m now off to acquire more Hofer cards and deliver a dozen of them. One sick kid in bed at home. It’s been like musical chairs. I feel like I’ve been running an infirmary for the past three weeks! To donate physical cards, please email me for my address, or you can donate via PayPal here. My current waiting list is two or three dozen. Should be doable by Christmas? I hope so.