"I just want to go home."
A heartbreaking week so far at Vienna's central train station. Russian economic collapse. Day 14 of Putin's war on Ukraine.
This week at Hauptbahnhof in Vienna has on the one hand given me so much hope in the generosity of ordinary people, the resilience of the human spirit. On the other hand, the scale of the human tragedy is just crushing. I keep reminding myself that these are the lucky people. These are the people who managed to leave Ukraine; there will be so many more on their way here now, travelling for days and days without rest. To seek safety and shelter and a new life, at least temporarily, in Europe.
I wrote this short thread here about what I saw and did this morning. I will never forget the sound of Julia’s voice, a mom of two daughters, 9 and 11, one of whom has Down syndrome, as she burst into tears and told me “I just want to go home.” I hugged her as tight as I could and through tears told her she did the right thing. “You saved your daughters’ lives. You are safe now. You did it for them.” The girls were absolutely stoic. They weren’t yet feeling what their mom was going through. I gave Julia some money and my phone number, and told her to reach out any questions, whatever it is, if I could somehow make her start in Germany a little bit easier. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment this morning. It was so raw and so awful and I wanted to make everything better and just stood there like an idiot offering hugs and my own tears and whatever I could give there on the spot before the train was set to depart in ten minutes for Munich.
Every person coming from Ukraine has story to tell. This war, Putin’s war, is a human tragedy millions and millions of times over. One woman from Poltava told me just two weeks ago she herself was helping refuges from Donbass who had fled westwards. “Now we’re the refugees”, she said to me, calmly. “You can’t imagine”, she continued, “what it’s like to wake up three times a night and run downstairs from the fourth floor because the air raid sirens are going off”. No, I said, I cannot imagine.
Every time Ukrainians told me which city they were from, the images and videos I have been sharing with you all flashed before my eyes. I met a lovely family of a mom, two kids and a grandmother from Kharkiv. I helped them lock their luggage so they could explore Vienna a bit before taking a train to Budapest later today. I gave them the contact of a Russian acquaintance in the Hungarian capital who has been working non-stop to help and house refugees. The mom took a photo of Anastasia’s Facebook page on my phone with her phone. Kharkiv. The images of utter destruction flashed again in front of me.
I spoke with a lovely woman traveling to Berlin with her mom, a skinny reddish Husky, and a fat cat in a pink plastic crate. The cat had stopped eating, the dog had stopped drinking. I helped her buy some industrial strength packing tape to secure her luggage. She looked at me and said, “you cannot imagine how much I am looking forward to a hot shower and a warm bed. Soon. Not much longer now.” I nodded, feeling useless that I hadn’t even managed to buy her a new duffel bag. An entire train station full of shops and services but few offering what people who just fled their homes actually need.
I’ll go back tomorrow. And the day after. And each day for as long as I can while my own emotions still hold up. It took all my physical restraint to stop myself from pouncing on an older Austrian woman who came in the train ticket office for the sole purpose of telling Ukrainian refugees who just fled actual war and bombs and shooting and missiles they should put on masks properly against covid. I just stood there like an idiot, numb and in shock, the absolute lack of empathy. On the other hand, I saw police (police!) handing out coffees they had bought from a deli, and chocolate bars to kids.
Meanwhile, back in Ukraine. The Polish jets via Germany seem to be out the window. The clock is ticking. The standing ovations continue, military intervention does not. I am waiting for the western world to understand it is already in World War III — the Russian economy is already in free fall, more than half of Ukraine has already been blown up. This is already happening.
A peace deal with Russia? Really? When have they ever kept their word until now? That’s right. Never. So actually the people arguing you can just give Russia Crimea and Donbass and all will be ok are ignoring two very important points: first, Ukraine cannot agree to turn the clock back to Feb 23 having already fought to bravely, seen its infrastructure destroyed, so many lives lost, and second, how can you make peace with a partner that cannot be trusted? There is no real peace in Europe as long as Putin is still in charge. Full stop. Perhaps when that is understood, the decision-making process in European capitals will look different.
For events on the ground in Ukraine — a fresh thread from telegram sources. The stamina, the energy, the morale, an incredible testament to an incredible nation.
In Russia, meanwhile, fascism is moving ahead with full force, manipulation of children and Z symbolism. The Russian economy is in free fall: McDonalds, Coca Cola, Starbucks all pulled out of the market within the past 24 hours. The Russian moms report, however, that many of these companies, like H&M for example, simply paid their employees a 3-month paid holiday. This means some corporations at least think this is all only a temporary blip. I fear they are making a massive miscalculation.
Speaking of the moms in Moscow. I wrote a bit about this yesterday, but I continue to follow what they are saying and thinking online because I think it is an important means of “taking the temperature” of what is happening inside Putin’s Russia. I do not believe this in any way defends Russia’s war on Ukraine, not in the least. I will continue to share information from whichever sources I have, whether they be in Ukraine or Russia. I continue to believe as I have from the beginning that this war really only ends, real peace is only achieved, when Putin is gone. Like gone gone. For that to happen, you have to know what is happening inside Russia, too. That task has gotten so much harder as these laws have been passed making reporting within Russia and talking about the war no one is allowed to call a war punishable with a 15 year prison sentence. Even The New York Times pulled out, for the first time since 1921!
In closing, think about this. The barter economy and how long it can last. Foreign currency trading banned until September; currency withdrawals capped at $10,000. The only credit card that will work abroad is Union Pay via China. Are iPhones the new gold?
Sure, some patriots will think now is the time to stand behind Russia while the rest of the world is “out to get it”. Some. But many will start to question how the hell did Russia end up isolated almost like North Korea in a matter of two weeks. China is clearly enjoying this moment. Ready to buy stakes in Russian companies on the cheap. There are Chinese state journalists embedded with Russian troops outside of Mariupol under siege. I watched this in horror yesterday:
I wrote a few months ago, this all ends with China eating all of us for breakfast. I continue to believe that to be true.
If there was ever a moment in modern history for the western world to stand up for itself and its values and what we really truly believe in, now is that moment. Now is that rainy day we have been saving up for. What happens in Ukraine does not end in Ukraine.
Very briefly — I have been ignoring 99% of Austrian news given there are only 24 hours in a day, but I was happy to hear the Austrian government through the covid vaccine mandate which was due to take effect on March 15 (punishable by fine) out the window today. The proposed mandate had already radicalised nearly one-fifth of the population, pushing them to the far right, and it would have been a real civil liberties headache to enforce. It may be too late to bring these people back into mainstream political dialogue, but it was the right thing to do. Those who wanted to get vaccinated did so long ago, the 2G/3G rules are in place, and those who didn’t want vaccines weren’t going to comply anyway, they would have paid the fines. Cancelling this law takes the speed out of the whole thing. Now if “far right populists” (fascists) in Austria still show up to protest (which they will, against NATO/EU), they really don’t have any grounds to scream about Freiheit.
What we should do and can do is offer to vaccinate refugees who just arrived to Austria from Ukraine with mRNA vaccines and give them Green Passes. Most adults in Ukraine who were vaccinated received a Chinese vaccine, CoronaVac.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for understanding the timing of this newsletter has been all over the place, as have my thoughts. It’s very hard to go from on the ground support to real people in Russian and then switch to news analysis and cerebral work in English. With my Billa Deutsch thrown in between.
While I was writing this I got a call from Vika who is staying with her son Lyosha at a hotel near me tonight. They wanted to make sure they knew the right bus stop to get off. They went to go see Vienna. Her son doesn’t even have a passport yet — most of these Ukrainian kids are travelling on birth certificates. Tomorrow he will see Venice. He is quiet and reserved but his eyes are wide open, taking it all in. Soon he will learn Italian and begin school in Italy. From Dnipro to Bologna. Just one story of one 13yo boy. His dad stayed behind. When will they see each other again? When will any of these kids see their dads again?
And then your heart aches and aches.