Julia: in her own words
Today I share with you a first. Julia contacted me and said she wanted to share her story about resettling in Austria from Kyiv, and she would write it herself, in English. I teared up editing this.
I’m Julia and I’m from Kyiv. My biggest dream was to build a ranch somewhere in the middle of nowhere in western Ukraine, raise and train my horses, and enjoy nature.
I never wanted to live in Europe. I dreamed of traveling and exploring the world. I was living with my mom and cat George, working from home for a super nice company, but having several mental health issues against which I was trying to fight.
I never believed there would be a real war. With my boyfriend, we always tried to calm down our moms, telling them that nothing will happen in Kyiv. On February 24, 2022, I was planning to go to my horse, who was living in a sports stable 80km from Kyiv. I planned to administer her yearly vaccinations. And then the whole country woke up at the same time. I can’t say that we were panicking. My mom was secretly preparing bags with all the important documents and other stuff. I didn’t prepare anything. When the explosions started, the first thing I did was to grab all my cat’s documents, food, toys, blankets, traveling box and toilet stuff. George was sleepy and calm, all his life he lived near a huge avenue where truck tires exploded all the time, bikes and sport cars were racing. We were all used to loud noises 24/7. I don’t actually know why I woke up. It wasn’t even that loud or that close…
I quickly packed my documents, laptop, clothes, some horse figurines from my collection, my favorite book and a plush toy. P - priorities! Then my boyfriend came to us with his pet chinchilla and their bags. We weren’t sure what to do. So we decided to stay and wait. Unfortunately.
For one week we stayed at home, mainly in the basement shelter. I wasn’t ready to leave because of my cat. He is 17 years old, very afraid and has never been outside, except for vet visits. We were lucky to have a big shelter right in our house. We had enough space for everyone there, so lots of people with animals and kids were building there their own ‘bedrooms’. During the day we were in the apartment, but for the night, we always were heading downstairs to the shelter. My mental health became worse. I was afraid to stay in my apartment, I was afraid to go to the toilet near the shelter at night. I couldn’t eat or sleep.
My horse was also in a dangerous zone, so the stable team put all the horses outside, so they wouldn’t die if a rocket were to hit the barn. No one knew for how long they would have enough feed. Like many other horseowners, I told barn manager that if something bad happened, let her go in the field. She may survive herself with a herd.
We left Kyiv in the first weeks of March, when rocket pieces hit the building in front of our apartment. I will never forget those nights. It was really quiet day, so my boyfriend went home to pick up some things, and me with my mom and George stayed at home too. I was scared even to walk alone in the apartment, and it was those times when no one used the lights during dark times of the day. We were watching TV and decided to get some sleep. My mom slept for a few hours, then me. I can’t remember what woke me up. But I remember how I jumped straight from my sleep, with a heart somewhere in my throat, and heard those….BUGH. Not bam, not like the usual explosion.. Just BUGH. A terrifying noise. And then I saw how the apartment building in front of us was burning, several sections of it were in the fire. I have never seen anything scarier. After some time I read that actually it was a piece of the rocket and only the balconies were burnt, all the people were alive and the house was renovated. But this BUGH still lives in my head rent-free.
We then moved to my friend’s ranch in Chernivtsi and stayed there for two months. I would love to be able to remember that time period as recovery, enjoying the nature and sunny warm weather, but my anxiety, depression and panic attacks were hitting me too hard. And my family honestly didn’t care, they told me that I’m just lazy. George was very scared at first, but after a few weeks he even started to play in our room. At the end of March, my mare Stella came from Kyiv and joined the herd of evacuated horses at the ranch.
While we were there, I lost my job in public relations, which I loved. I had some savings and decided that it’s time to go. I was dreaming about a horse training job most of my life, and was ready to try for real. Quite quickly, I received an offer from Austria. And I accepted it. We were having a huge problems with finding housing, but luckily my boss’s wife found a senior couple (names removed by Tanja) who were willing to help Ukrainian people and were living 20km away from the ranch in Wiener Neustadt where I was to work.
I started my job, 6 days a week, 10-14 hours working day for €800 euros. I was paying for our rent €300 euros, for gas (because I could only get there by car) and everything that left was for George, Stella, and a little bit for myself. My mom stayed with me for three months, and then she decided to return to Kyiv because she didn’t want to lose her job. But I was really lucky with my host family. They had ponies, dogs and cats, so George was very welcome, I was renting a tiny house on the property, and we shared a garden with the elderly couple. They were helping me a lot and became like a part of my family.
The money situation was very bad for me, I lost 20kg and was exhausted, I didn’t even want to look at horses. I didn’t feel any passion anymore. My boss was nice, even though he couldn’t pay me a lot, he taught me so many important lessons, which in our industry cost hundreds of Euros. I met new friends and every day was a part of my favorite industry… But this job drained me, I had no other life except horses. In September, my mom came to Austria to babysit George and I went to Kyiv to see my boyfriend. I was leaving Austria with the thought that I will come back just to pack my stuff and go back home to Kyiv. I couldn’t live normally with all this depression stuff, I missed my boyfriend, I missed my horse. And I hated my job.
When I came back to Austria, our neighbors offered me a job in (company name removed by Tanja). It’s a professional laundry service that services hospitals, hospices and nursing homes. I took some time to think, and during that time met with my friend who has lived in Austria for a long time. She was telling me stories, I was looking maybe at the most beautiful view I have ever seen, sitting in her cozy perfect house, watching the sunset, playing with her kids… When I was driving home, I was crying. I didn’t want to leave Austria. Deep in my heart, I was deeply in love with this country from the first sight, and after visiting my friend, all those emotions came out. I loved my old house with my whole soul, I never had there any panic attacks or nightmares, George also was feeling great there. I always had my landlady, who is the sweetest lady, to talk to. When my mom was visiting, we always visited as many places as possible - Gesause, Rax, Vienna, Seebenstein, Wiener Neustadt, everything what we were able to find and reach. I didn’t want to go back to Ukraine.
I left the ranch and started the job in the laundry. It was awful. €1300 per month were better than €800, but I wasn’t prepared to deal with the things I saw there. Dirty clothes from ill people or people who had passed away, hundreds of kilograms, every day, covered in all possible human liquids, needles in pockets, catheters... No heat in winter, no AC in summer. Heavy loads, hellishly hot dryers, standing on your feet the whole day and packing clothes. 15 minutes to eat lunch. Two shifts: 6 AM to 2 PM and 2 PM to 10 PM. Overtime all the time. During this job, for the first time ever, I discovered the meaning of “my brain is melting”. Even though we had a very friendly team of Hungarian, Turkish and other women, I had almost no one to talk to, because it was only woman who speak English. Honestly, I love those women and miss them a lot. They all were like 60+ years old and were caring for me so much. Sometimes we laughed together, sometimes we cried. But it was a terrible, terrible job. Even though I’m thankful that I had it because it paid my bills and it helped me to bring Stella to Austria.
But I was losing my mind in the laundry, and I was actively seeking a way to continue working in marketing, advertising or PR. I sent over 100 CVs and cover letters, which were checked and edited by my German-speaking friend, who is a top manager. Austria is really the kingdom of ghosting because from 100+ applications I received a replay to… TWO. TWO replies! In months! With over five years of proven experience in marketing for American, Australian, European and Ukrainian companies, fluent English and a Master’s Degree in Marketing, I received TWO replies. And they asked me if I visited marketing courses in Austria. Like.. FOR WHAT?!
I was mad as hell. I did my research, I saw what experience some of the marketing managers of Austrian companies have, I saw what the requirements for the job are, and how marketing looks in different Austrian markets in general. I knew that our specialists are almost in each case will be more qualified than the local ones. I saw how Ukrainian marketing and advertising worked before the war, from strategies to design and creatives, we were more modern, more creative and could offer local companies more. But yeah, locals speak German and visited some courses, so I almost gave up.
Without any hope, I accepted the invitation for an interview from my friend’s friend’s colleague. It was last December. I successfully completed all three interviews and was full of hopes and dreams. This job was my chance to run away from the laundry and start a normal life. But the process took another SIX months before I received an offer. Since June, I started a new job in Marketing, my dream has come true, and all my struggles were rewarded. It was one month of pure happiness. First time in my life I allowed myself to buy some things I wanted, drive across Austria just because I wanted to drive, buy some stuff for my horse, start investing in my dream: training with a new trainer in Slovakia with a plan to buy a sport horse for competitions. And even spent an unholy amount of money to go to an event, on which I wanted to go before the war, but the war ruined all my plans. I was happy. Really, really happy.
And then my host family gave me one month to move out. Were they tired of me or did they need the house for the relative as they said, who knows? I learned this thing about Austrian people very fast. They are your friends as long as it is interesting for them. As soon as you do not fit their expectations or needs — they will kick you out of their space. I offered them more money, but they refused. I was in a panic. I knew the costs of “real” rent, kind of imagined all the challenges and was absolutely sure that I wouldn’t find anything.
And I was alone. No one could help me. And I had one month to move out.
When I stopped crying and panicing, I entered the madness era. I was searching all possible real estate online platforms, all day long. I was tired as hell of Burgenland and couldn’t wait to move away from there. I didn’t want to live in a 200 year old house anymore. And it’s enough of being kicked out from the public parking spaces in the village because my car has UA number plates. Of course, I looked in Burgenland a little bit, too, but luckily the landlord didn’t choose us. I knew it was time to pursue my goals, move to Styria, bring my horse to the most beautiful place in the world, be closer to my power places and start a completely new chapter.
Luckily, my job is fully remote and I visit the office in Vienna only once or twice in a few months, so I had the possibility to move literally anywhere. I was looking for a small apartment in a modern building, with a parking space, balcony or garden, where the cat will be allowed and, of course, close to nature. My naive soul started looking in Admont, Eisenerz and Leoben, then I quickly realized that’s not going to happen.
So I started looking in Graz. When I almost signed the paper for an apartment in the middle of Graz, I decided to take a look at one more apartment, 18km away from Graz. And from the first step, from the first sight, I felt - this is my home. Yes, this is not a house, just an apartment, but everything is moving step by step. Now I live in Unterpremstaetten and I couldn’t imagine a better place. From the day of viewing until signing the contract, everyone has been and is so friendly and easy-going, but also professional. I had zero worries, even though it is my first real rental contract. The people in Styria are also amazing, I feel very comfortable in communication and even try to practice my German. When I was signing my Meldezettel in the local municipality office, they gave a gift box from the local community for everyone, who is registering here.
I can see the forest and hills from my balcony. George feels here like at home like in Kyiv. I moved alone, without any help, and only had my old Honda Accord and 2 trips. My car was full from the floor to the roof both times. Not only my things and George were there, I also took with me my potted metasequoia, to which I am weirdly attached, and now it lives on the balcony with my other plants.
After one month here I was able to relocate Stella. Now she lives 18km away from me, in an awesome stable. I pay for her the same money as in Burgenland, but the care she receives here is much, much better, and the training opportunities are incomparable. I work from 8 AM to 5 PM, then go to the barn and we explore the forests together with Stella, or spend time in the arena. I can’t wait to buy a bike to be able to go on some trail rides in Styria. After I received the biggest burnout of my life after working with horses, I was away from sports for some time. Then this moving challenge hit me hard because I had to cancel my plan of renting a trainer’s horse. And now I’m 300km away from my trainer. But slowly I feel like my passion is coming back. And George being comfortable in this home gives me hope that I will be able to visit my trainer on the weekends.
I love Unterpremstaetten, I love Styria and I want to live here. I am praying that one day my boyfriend can join me here and we will finally get married. This is the country where for the first time in my life I accepted the thought that maybe one day I will have kids. The idea of having them here is not freaking me out.
A few years ago, when someone asked me about my dream, I needed no time to think. I wanted a second horse, a third horse, a trainer’s career, and competitions. If someone will ask me about my dream now… I’m dreaming about owning a small house here, in Styria, where I can talk to the mountains and forests, write my books, love my family and have my horses near me.