A Christmas story

One mother wrote me last night to share her very moving story about how ordinary people stepped in to help her during some of her darkest days.

Vienna looks very festive at night, despite the lack of snow and heavy winds. Everyone is in that mad rush the last few days before Christmas. Austrians celebrate on the evening of the 24th, which this year falls on a Sunday, and as December 25 and 26 are both public holidays here, this year’s calendar is the stuff of nightmares: on Saturday to buy literally everything one might need for a celebration and then three days in a row of every shop closed except for gas station convenience stores and a few special supermarkets near airports or rail stations. I too have been doing my fair share of running around, but it has been extra nice this week, as I am working on distributing the 100 €50 Hofer vouchers which we received earlier this week, prioritising pensioners and families in need. Mario also (the real unsung hero of this whole endeavour) sent out another batch of cards this week ahead of the holidays. In this little way, it is nice to know we are able to help some of those who are struggling this time of year (all times of year, really, but you feel it more when everyone around you is spending money you don’t have to spend) in parallel with getting our own families ready for the holiday break. I am fully aware of this responsibility for what it is, and have tried really hard this time to say no to people asking for cards who appear to be able to find a part-time job, while actively trying to help those who cannot due to circumstances beyond their control. I owe it to our generous sponsors to make sure the help reaches those who need it the most. This is not a perfect science, but we try.

Last night I received a message from a Ukrainian woman, Olena, who asked me to share her story with “my readers”.

Olena’s story, in her own words, translated by yours truly:

“I would like to express my huge gratitude to Austria and all those people who are not indifferent, who over almost two years in Vienna have helped our family at different stages of our adaptation.

I would like to explain our struggles, and tell you a little bit about our lives “before”. Just before the war began, I was 34 years old. I am a medical psychologist by education, I worked in a clinic and was an expert on TV both on screen and behind the scenes for the creation of television shows. Before the war, I received a promotion and was made a member of the National Council of TV and Radio, where I worked on the challenges of labelling / correcting content so that viewers would not be confronted with violence or propaganda of unhealthy lifestyle choices. I was the chief psychologist of a major television holding, I led corporate training programs for leading private companies, and I was able to buy an apartment without anyone’s help. I was divorced and raising my 9 year old daughter. I was in a new, wonderful relationship with a man, I was very happy and had a successful life.

At the beginning of the war, we left for Kyiv region, where we lived for ten days underground, 800 meters from the front line. Warplanes flew above us, phosphorous bombs exploded, there was shelling… It was a miracle that we lived through it. A missile flew into our new apartment; our new apartment complex suffered damage.

We travelled for six days without stopping and reached Vienna. It took my daughter and I several months to feel ourselves again. We arrived in one set of clothing, had some pajamas with us, a few pairs of socks, and toothbrushes. And then magic started to happen. We received packages from all over the world with the things we needed, and letters. The Austrian post did not make us pay customs duties on the packages, we explained that it is humanitarian aid from volunteers, a huge thanks to them for that.

All the time I did’t have my period and I thought it was because I had been under such a huge stress. It turned out, I was pregnant. I was fired from my job in Ukraine, because it is unclear if they would have had enough money to pay my salary. I was suddenly in such a new situation, as if for weeks leading up to that moment I had been leading a totally different life.

I fell into a deep depression, I sent my daughter to school and just stared into space for days at a time, and cried. I didn’t want to do anything, I could not learn the language. I hated everything local, I was so separated mentally from the reality that surrounded me, the reality which I had ended up in.

After that, I met the volunteers at the Matusya center. They gave me a stroller, a crib, and everything I would need for the baby’s birth. I went to my doctor’s appointments, there were complications with my pregnancy, but I gave birth to a healthy child. I cried in the AKH ahead of my C-section, I was so scared and felt so alone. I had dreamed of giving birth together with a partner, and instead I ended up in an environment where I did not understand anything. The staff at the hospital patted my forehead, hugged me, wiped my tears, and really supported me.

My children are vaccinated, they have a wonderful paediatrician, a great primary school, and now a middle school. We felt really supported by all of the parents in my daughter’s class. We have made real friends. I began to study German online with a teacher based in Ukraine as I cannot attend in person classes with the baby. I would really like to somehow pay back all the kindness we received, therefore I sometimes teach psychological masterclasses for the Matusya center.

The baby’s father abandoned us, all this time while we tried to build a new life in Austria, he found a new lover and cut off contact. I became a single mom in a new country, and found myself totally broke. People saved me. Every single time at centers for moms and kids when they asked me, how are you?, I broke into tears. They would make me tea, give me a hug, I felt support from total strangers.

Now, I feel like myself again. I would not have been able to get through all of those difficult things without the system of organized help for refugees. The Telegram info channels, the info meetings, the volunteer organizations, all of the wonderful people who are doing god’s work in the hospitals, Austria Center, Caritas, Leo, etc. I am still not tired of thanking everyone who helped me personally. I am writing this letter now so that one simple story could show how important both material and emotional support is for us, for the Ukrainians now in Austria.

Thank you that you took us in. Thank you, that we could recover here from the horrors which we lived through. Thank you that our children are healthy and smiling. And they no longer hear the sounds of air raid sirens and explosions.”